1970

As I became more involved with P, we would have lunch together, sitting at his desk eating his Mum's sandwiches.  I hadn't met her yet, but she made extra for P to share.  I knew he played football and drank a lot, but I'd grown up around a lot of drinking so I didn't see it as a problem.

The first time P asked me out, it was to be after work on a Friday.  He had disappeared after lunch as usual and I waiting until almost quitting time, but he didn't return so I phoned Dad to give me a lift home.  I was waiting in Ann Street when I spotted P staggering, very drunk, along the opposite footpath.  When Dad pulled up, I jumped into the car as P raced across the road in front of us, yelling at me not to go.  I just told Dad to ignore him and we drove away.  When P and I discussed it later, I told him I wasn't prepared to wait around while he got drunk.

He did some funny things, like pulling the ring-pull off his can of Coke to give me an "engagement ring".   I thought it was cute at the time and I was sure I was in love with him.  It wasn't the "head over heels" type of feeling, just one of inevitability or fate, because I couldn't see my life without him in it.  I think he reminded me of Dad in a way, which should have sounded a warning.  We went out with his best friend, R with his girlfriend J and his other mate T.  I don't think they liked me very much but I really didn't care as long as P stayed reasonably sober.

When he introduced me to his parents, they welcomed me warmly.  I thought they were great, but I was a bit shocked to hear them swear.  They said "shit" and "bastard" ... words I had never heard my parents use.  The strongest equivalent in my parents' vocabulary was "basket" instead of "bastard"!   Like my parents, his drank every night although it was only a large bottle of beer each.  His Mum J told me that she suspected her husband, V kept a bottle of spirits or plonk under the house, which he also drank on the sly.

J and I became fast friends and she earned my respect.  She had always wanted a daughter and I found her much easier to talk to than my mother.  She had also worked all her married life to help keep the wolf from the door, only because V liked to drink so much he didn't give her enough money to live on.  She had lived most of her life in incredible pain because when she was very little, she was playing downstairs when her mother, L, emptied out the old copper she used to boil the laundry.  The scalding water burnt her back so severely that she spent a long time in hospital propped up on her elbows.  When she came out of hospital, she had to learn to walk again and after a while, osteoarthritis caused so much pain in both her elbows that a surgeon removed the head of the radius in both her arms.  Even with cortisone treatment, the pain never left her and simple things like turning a tap or peeling a potato caused her much pain, which she tried to hide from everyone around her.

I made sure that we bought her things to make her life easier, such as an electric can opener and an electric carving knife.  She was so very brave and so different to my mother who complained about everything and was almost happy to be diagnosed with Angina.  J's mother L was similar to mine, because the first time I met her she pulled up her skirt to show me a large scar on her knee and thigh, then pulled up her top to show me another one on her back ... way too much information for a first meeting!  L even listed off multiple doctors and specialists she frequented in Mt Isa and Brisbane.

P and I became engaged in November 1970.  When told of our engagement, his friend T didn't believe him and bet him dinner at the Room at the Top restaurant in the Tower Mill Motel.  I don't know which of us he was insulting, but we enjoyed a very good meal thanks to T's scepticism. ☺

I was 18 and P was 20.  I splurged on my dress; it cost nearly 2 weeks wages ... $32!  I finally took P home to meet Mum and Dad who typically, drank him under the table.  I had to pour him into a taxi and make sure he had the huge fare from Upper Mt Gravatt to Virginia, ie. $5.  One of our work mates wrote a poem to celebrate our engagement, which he happily recited at our work Xmas party.

It goes as follows:

When P to M popped the question

M pensively made a suggestion

C**** she said is rather a strange label

But I'm willing if you're ready and able!

My engagement ring was unique and in all the years since, I have never seen another ... unlike his best friends who went to Diamonds International so their Fiancées sported exactly the same ring.  Both girls were not happy!

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